Tuesday 28 June 2011

The Twelve Trials of Herculese

Recently it was my misfortune to be called up on jury service yet again! My problems started on the first day, trying to convince the court official (despite having a letter from my accountant) that an artist does earn money and that I was entitled to compensatory expenses. I think it would have been easier to complete the twelve trials of Herculese!! After a long cross examination with many quzzical questions the official eventually summonded a superior officer who grudingly approved said claims after implying that I could have brought my easel and set it up in the Jurors waiting room! What was especially galling was that another juror was the wife of a builder who admitted to me that she was only down as an employee for tax avoidance purposes. She was waived through without even a raised eyebrow!
Being locked in a room with dozens of other bewildered members of the public felt like something out of Big Brother. However in this instance, we were all waiting hopefully for eviction. It didn’t help to observe all the Anti Flu packets lying around on tables and this being the time when swine flu was reaching pandemic proportions in Leicestershire. Living an isolated life, I usually manage to stay clear of coughs and sniffles.
You may have heard recently in the news that judges want more protection for witnesses on trials, and the problems of jurors illegally using the internet to sleuth on-line. So imagine my dismay when being called to jury that my name was clearly read out in front of the accused as I entered court! As my name comes up first on Google and this guy was a potential throat slitter, this didn't feel a good start!
Revealing that you’re an artist to fellow jurors at break times is also a mistake. Someone had a laptop and was soon distracted from sluthing the case and instead started  looking up my website http://www.timfisherartist.co.uk/. Next, people were asking me to 'prove' my ability by drawing things for them in the Jurors room between cases. I doubt if I had been a sewerage worker that I would have been required to demonstrate my craft! I related this story on the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2 by sending in an email. somehow, either by mistake or for sensationalism, Jeremy implied that rather than focussing on the case, I was drawing pictures for the other jurors during the trial!!
When it came to summing up time, guess who was volunteered to do all the drawing on the flipchart!!
Halfway through, I was struck down with what I thought was just a mild cough, which gradually turned into something much worse. Aching and shivering, I was pleased to be released a couple of days early as there were no more cases.
Come the new year, I was still suffering from Swine flu just as we are plunged into one of the worst winters since Peter Breugel and the last ice age. Feeling low, and not wanting to paint, I decided to embark on producing a series of instructional DVD’s. I am now plunged into a incomprehensible world of incompatible file formats, tape v digital, wide screen v 16:8. Trevor Lingard, who incidentally has recently written a brilliant article in the Leisure Painter has kindly given me some useful tips in postioning the camera so that you see the work and not the back of my head! and so my efforts start. Painters On-Line now offer a section where videos can be posted, so to cut my teeth and get used to all the stuff, I have decided to make some short films. Please have a look at my efforts and let me know what you think; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQUP1psvolk&feature=BFa&list=ULHNsDpUIplj8&index=12
ps My apologies for the Swine Flu sniffs on this otherwise exciting watercolour demonstration!!

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